


Not What's Best For Me

by KayleeTheBrave



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, ambiguous timing, could be pre or post the end of the main game, or pre or post trespasser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 23:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5604982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayleeTheBrave/pseuds/KayleeTheBrave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lavellan gathers her thoughts after Solas breaks up with her.</p>
<p>"The truth is that you're making decisions for me without even considering telling me everything that's going on, presuming to know what's best for me. You're better than that Solas. I know you're better than that."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not What's Best For Me

“Tell yourself whatever you want, Solas, but nothing about this is for my own good, and we both know it…“ _Our relationship was a distraction” -_ that’s what you said before, I know. And maybe it was. Maybe we shouldn't have pursued it. But we did. _Both_ of us.

“I had someone to rely on, I felt safe with you, and I felt loved... And then you took it away. Maybe we shouldn't have gone there in the first place, but we _did._ You gave me strength and hope, and then you took it away. Leaving me wasn't in _my_ best interest, so don't pretend it was. Creators, I don't even know if you ever loved me, if you feel the same way about me as I do about you…

“So please… Let me talk for a moment Solas. You had your time to talk when you took me out to a beautiful glade, told me intimate but hard truths about the vallaslin, kissed me like I've never been kissed before, then ripped out my heart and left me confused and alone to cry. Well I've cried till I felt like I had no tears left, and I've thought about it, and I've come to one conclusion: you didn't do this for me. No matter what you say, there's no way you could believe that this was better for me than if you'd stayed.

“So, why, Solas? Tell me why. I could deal with you leaving me if you didn't love me, it would hurt but I could do it... But I don't think that's what's going on here. I wish I could hate you. I wish you could make me hate you. The worst part is that _of course_ I still love you...And I think that you love me. But you don’t even respect me enough to tell me the truth about why you left.

“Do you love me? Did you ever? Do you really think loving me and then leaving me is less of a distraction than the two of us staying together and finding strength in one another?

“The truth is that you're making decisions for me without even considering telling me everything that's going on, presuming to know what's best for me. You're better than that Solas. I _know_ you're better than that.”

“…”

“I still sound too needy, don't I? I should be angry, not sad... That's just not how I feel though. I'm confused and sad, but I can't bring myself to be angry. There's something going on with him that he won't let me in on, and I wish he respected me enough, loved me enough, to tell me what it is.”

“Inquisitor, are you ever going to actually say any of this to him? Or is all this speech making practice for your own benefit, rather than his?”

“I will... I think... once everything is over, if we're both still alive… I don't want to die with this unsaid, with so much unresolved… I don't want to beg him to take me back, that's not what I want, but I also want him to know that making decisions for me, treating me like an ignorant child who couldn't possibly understand _pisses me off._ Fen'Harel take me, the man infuriates me.

“I miss him, Dorian.”


End file.
